Is Your Dog Stubborn or Just Confused?
Can a dog truly be stubborn?
Dog owners often label their dogs as stubborn when they don’t listen or respond as expected. But the truth is—stubbornness is a human concept, not a real psychological trait in dogs. Dogs aren’t defying us out of principle. More often than not, they are confused, overwhelmed, or unmotivated.
I’ve seen this firsthand with my own dog, Mabel, a Romanian rescue English Setter mix. When we first brought her home, she had a deep-rooted fear of loud noises, which made training and everyday life unpredictable. Some people might have looked at her reluctance to move in certain situations and said, “She’s just being stubborn.” But the reality was, she wasn’t choosing to ignore me—she was scared and uncertain.
Why We Misinterpret "Stubbornness" in Dogs
There are a few common reasons dogs don’t respond to cues, and none of them are about them being deliberately difficult:
1. They Don’t Understand What You’re Asking
If your dog doesn’t sit when you say “sit,” they might not actually understand the word in that context. Training requires clarity and consistency—if we haven’t taught a behavior properly, we can’t expect them to perform it reliably.
🔹 Mabel’s Story: In the early days, she would freeze when we tried to call her inside from the garden. Some might assume she was ignoring me, but the reality was, the world outside was overwhelming to her. She needed time and positive reinforcement to feel safe enough to respond.
2. They’re Overstimulated or Distracted
Dogs experience the world in a way we don’t. A dog that seems to "ignore" you might just be too focused on something else—a scent, a sound, or an environment that’s overwhelming them.
🔹 Mabel’s Story: Loud noises were a huge trigger for her, likely because of her past as a stray and possible ex-hunting background. A simple car backfiring could send her into shutdown mode. In those moments, it didn’t matter if I had the best treats in the world—her brain wasn’t in a place where she could process training.
3. They Don’t See the Value in Obeying
Dogs are not born wanting to please us—they respond to what benefits them. If a cue isn’t rewarding or necessary in their eyes, they won’t prioritize it.
🔹 Mabel’s Story: She was hesitant to walk through busy areas because of her noise sensitivity. Forcing her would have created more fear, so instead, I used counterconditioning and confidence-building exercises. I made high-value treats, play, and praise part of the process, teaching her that engaging with me was worth her while.
4. They Associate the Command with Something Negative
If a dog has learned that responding to a cue leads to something unpleasant, they may resist or shut down. This is common in rescue dogs, who may have had bad experiences with training in the past.
🔹 Mabel’s Story: At first, she was wary of coming when called—maybe because, in her past, being caught meant something bad. Instead of assuming she was “stubborn,” I built trust by rewarding every recall with something positive. Over time, she learned that coming when called was always a good thing.
How to Fix "Stubborn" Behavior the Right Way
Teach with clarity – Ensure your dog fully understands cues before expecting them to respond consistently.
Build confidence in new environments – If your dog hesitates, consider whether they feel safe and secure.
Reinforce what you want – Make responding to cues worth their while with rewards, play, and praise.
Recognize fear vs. defiance – If a dog refuses, ask yourself: Are they actually being defiant, or is something making them uncomfortable?
Be patient and adjust training methods – If something isn’t working, your dog isn’t the problem—the approach needs tweaking.
Final Thoughts
Dogs aren’t stubborn—they are either untrained, unmotivated, confused, or overwhelmed. Once we shift our mindset and look at things from their perspective, training becomes less about “obedience” and more about communication and trust.
If your dog seems “stubborn,” take a step back and ask: What’s really going on here? You might find that they’re just waiting for you to guide them in a way they truly understand.
